The morning after the night before, Manchester United’s defeat in Switzerland is not blamed on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (or Cristiano Ronaldo).
Neil, are you sure you are fine?
Neil Custis was in Bern on Tuesday evening and is not satisfied with what he has seen. In fact, he is so unhappy that he left out the magic word “Cristiano Ronaldo” from the first paragraph of his report on the back of the Young Boys-Manchester United clash The sun. Perhaps tellingly, the real first words are “Jesse Lingard’s schoolboy mistake led Manchester United to a dramatic defeat in the Champions League opener”. Ah, so that will be the fault, and not the whole team, for a lethargic performance or Ole Gunnar Solskjaer for a total lack of tactical acumen.
Custis turns inward for his game report and is a little more devastating Manchester United Manager and says that ‘Solskjaer loses the plot’ but if anyone here ‘loses the plot’ it could well be Neil, whose full account reads like a series of 3 a.m. text messages from a abandoned lover. Lingard was criticized early on for his “unfortunate back pass”, but his attention soon turned to the man he really wanted to write about: you guessed it, St. Cristiano of Ronaldo.
“You have to ask yourself why the blockbuster newcomer Cristiano Ronaldo was watching from the bench.” (okay Neil)
“But if you have Ronaldo, you still have a chance to snap the game.” (Okay, Neil!)
“Was he surprised when he left? You bet it was him. ‘ (Neil, are you * sure * that you are okay?)
“Not quite the way Ronaldo would have wanted to end a night when he set his former team-mate Iker Casillas’ record for appearances in this competition.” (Well, single records count little when the record holder’s teams lose games, but okay Neil, I can tell you that you’re desperate)
“Ronaldo had rushed in from the right and read a pass that few could do in the game.” (Neil, you’re getting a little disjointed now)
“After his breathtaking show on Saturday, he was ready to go again.” (Easier times, eh, Neil?)
“Seconds later, the final whistle sounded as Ronaldo trudged towards the tunnel and no, he didn’t want to swap jerseys.‘(Sure we’ve been told over and over again the last few days that he’s the greatest role model we could have wished for, but okay, Neil)
Young Boys, the winning team in Bern, is hardly worth mentioning, but there is a curious statistic at the bottom of the page. “2 – United only scored two shots in the entire game – the fewest in a Champions League game since accurate data was made available.” In other words, did St. Cristiano barely have a shot except on goal the whole evening? It is a figure given the accomplishments of. raise your eyebrows Everyone on the Manchester United team, but for Neil Custis, who we can only assume was writing this report along the way disguised as Spiderman and perched on a tall building, such details are probably not that important.
Single fault 2 Poor overall team performance and poor substitutions 1
When you consider what happened in Bern, both have a certain delicious irony mirrors and to express (which are in the same ownership) can be packaged in advertorials for bananas. Keep an eye out for those skins guys.
David McDonnell was with both newspapers, but although he manages to squeeze “Cristiano Ronaldo” into his first paragraph for the algorithms, it quickly becomes clear that he is more likely to blame individual players for United’s defeat than Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. Aaron Wan-Bissaka is described as “the character’s villain” for his red card, and Jesse Lingard is “cast in the role of the perpetrator” for his “kamikaze back pass” in the next paragraph, but again there is no mention of failure the substitutions of the manager.
They were mistakes, it must be said, but a little later, McDonnell notes in his report that “Match statistics told the story of a one-sided battle in which the spirited hosts scored 20 shots on goal against United’s lean two”. In other words, even if individual mistakes may ultimately have led to this result, the basis was a poor overall performance of the team paired with poor substitutions of a manager who is tactically overwhelmed in this competition? You don’t know that from the Mirror / Express, which are apparently only able to cook the Bernese event down to a few seconds out of 90 minutes.
Connect the dots (or not)
‘Young Boys 2 Old Master 1’ yells the post from the back, which makes Mediawatch wonder if the Swiss might be a little disappointed with the narrow profit margin, considering they were only playing against one player.
But it doesn’t matter. Inside, Chris Wheeler begins his report by writing “And this should be the easy group,” which is news for Villarreal (who beat Manchester United on penalties to win the Europa League in May) and Atalanta (who finished before Juventus) could be. Lazio, Napoli and Roma in last season’s Serie A and who defeated both Liverpool and Ajax in the group stage of last season’s Champions League). Wednesday morning’s tabloids seem a little hesitant to blame the events in Bern, but again a single statistic tells what could be an important story: “7: Manchester United have seven of their eleven CL games under Ole Gunnar Solskjaer lost. ” , more than 20 games combined under Louis Van Gaal and Jose Mourinho.
All you have to do is connect the dots. they are so close.
Steve Harper, king of algorithms
It goes on from Manchester United (finally), the post also has an interesting sidebar on the back about Newcastle U23 side getting into a fight at a nightclub. Or, as they put it in English, ‘Turmoil at Toon injured as U23 stars in bar fight’. That Newcastle, an oars-free football club, should have players getting into fights is probably not that surprising. What is surprising is the weird flex that author Craig Hope has used throughout the article.
“Newcastle United are investigating after seven U-23 players were involved in bar brawls with friends of academy director Steve Harper’s son, leaving some with facial injuries.”
Aside from the little question of whether the old man in the corner stopped playing the piano when this’ bar fight ‘broke out, it takes a couple of paragraphs to confirm that Steve’s son James’ wasn’t one of the aggressors and has ended around some of the injured, ‘but Hope keeps returning to this’ conflict of interest’ with a ‘source’ adding that Steve has a big job to sort out this place. It’s been a mess for years. Who would have thought Steve Harper was such meaty search engine content?
The solution to the debacle of the European Super League is a European Super League
And finally, a Newcastle Academy team fighting in a nightclub isn’t the only “EXCLUSIVE” (printed in red so we all know exactly how EXCLUSIVE it is) in the post.. Tom Collomosse has a report ahead of Leicester’s Europa League game against Napoli explaining how Napoli club president Aurelio de Laurentiis is proposing a “radical transformation” of European football by creating a “more lucrative pan-European league” with ” a “proposes a democratic entry system ‘which all sounds a bit like’ more or less exactly like the previous proposals, only without the ‘some clubs cannot relegate’ thing ‘and probably Napoli too, who were not invited to join the league, which was proposed earlier this year. How convenient.